pull me up, sailor. i'm sinking fast.

I'm not so sure I love Atlanta, anymore.

I used to worry about irrational things. I've spent my life crippled with anxiety over things like internet perverts, pick-pockets, sickness and failure.

Now I worry all the time about violent things that have happened to my friends. Let's talk about it:

My friend's girlfriend had the sense beaten right out of her, by a perfect stranger, while walking a few blocks back to her home. Pistol whipped, knocked out, kicked on the ground while laying in her own blood. She's chosen to be kind enough to the world by not owning a car, and walking has slapped her right in the face.

A guy from my high school was abducted at GA Tech while being nice enough to give some men directions. Because he had covered his face the whole time, they let him live by making him jump out of their while going 40 mph.

Just found out about my friend Bob being held at gunpoint for a few hours. Fantastic.

Dozens of students get carjacked at GA State every year. Many of whom have to empty their bank accounts for these gentlemen.

And how about the time a strange man followed my room mate home in the middle of the night and camped out in his car outside our house? At which time I called the police who didn't show up for AN HOUR AND A HALF!! And when the lone officer did show up, he spent his time lecturing us about what to do the next time someone is stalking her in the night... which was to... ironically... notify the police... who will do NOTHING for you. They won't even walk around your house with their little flashlights.




Why the hell should we try to extend kindness to anyone?
I understand that Jesus lived his life in danger, and expects us to follow by His example.
I've been told that there is nothing in our lives that the Lord hasn't endured Himself...
He's even been beaten to the edge of His life, and then murdered.
But He knew it was for the glory of God.
What happens today seems so senseless.
And was He ever raped?
Because the fear of that dominates my thoughts every day, and my nightmares each and every single night.



I've become a selfish person, valuing my own life.