Spring Break started for me last Thursday. It's been a strange mix.
That night we all played video games before the house show at icanfly. As it turns out, I'm really skilled in the virtual fighting arena. Had no idea.
Friday I went to get my hair done at a salon in Newnan. It wasn't a bad experience... but somehow my hair is back to being darker than it was before I started the process. It's also been trimmed down to an awkward length, and is... you know... falling out.
So, it's getting cut off entirely on Wednesday. I should have done that in the first place.
Then my older sister and I went out for birthday sushi with my dad. On the way we stopped for a beer at a place where dark figures from my past work. It put me in a really strange time-warp.
I don't really talk about my life before I became a Christian. Rest assured that you don't want to hear it.
The fun began when we all went to a cabin in Elijay.
It was nice to sit in the quiet for a while. To enjoy my friends without the distractions of television, cell phones, internet, traffic, school, etc.
It was nice to sit down to eat together around one table.
Spiritually speaking, I'm not in the best place that I've ever been. But I must say that I have a much healthier view on community than I ever have.
Lately I've been hearing a lot of "where have you been?"s. And this is my answer:
I've been living.
Being part of such a growing congregation I feel a little lost, and very bored.
What I love about who I have been spending my time with is that we are not homologous. Some of us are Christians. Some aren't. And with that, we don't all have the same moral compass. We don't all do the same things on Sundays. We don't all want nuclear families. We don't all want to graduate. We don't all go to the same places to drink coffee. We don't all smoke cigarettes. We don't all read the same books.
The only thing we all do together is eat and talk. But we do it transparently.
Despite all of our differences, I've never met a group of people who loved each other so boundlessly. Or people who think that each day should be lived 100% intentionally. Or people who aren't afraid to be alone for a little while. Or to ask and answer tough questions. Or to tell an off-color joke. Or be humiliated every so often.
I think that what I stepped away from was the feeling that I needed to be validated by people I find more interesting, or more influential, than myself.
In a way it's no different than my mom not wanting to leave her monetarily corrupt church because her husband is on the "board of trusties".
The problem with Christians is that we think who we are and what we do is so important.
I'd like it better if I thought that who God is and what God does mattered most.