Saturday, February 17, 2007

I spent all day in the car.

I spent hours looking for a place to live.
I was offered a room in my big brother Jesse's house out on Flat Shoals. I want it.

But I want to stay with my girl, Courtney, and so we've decided to re-lease my house on the west side. I wanted to go back east, but it's just not looking like a possibility. Wrong time of year to look for a new home.

I let myself worry about little things. My left eye has been twitching since 6pm. It's now 2am. It's almost cool. It's synced itself up with the radio more than once.

Now that that boring crap is out of the way, I'll start over:

Lately the one thing on my mind has been that I am not who people think I am. I am not a good person. I'm also not who a few others think. I'm not evil, either. I am neither of these, and nowhere in between.
These things are true- I have big glasses, small feet and hands, short legs and a long torso.

These things are also true- I do not always have the best of intentions, and I do not always consider the feelings and imortal souls of others. I am rude and can have a truly foul mouth. When I'm pushed too far I lash back with everything I've withheld since the day we met. I let things fester. I find everyone else's dating paterns utterly repulsive.
None of which are Christ like.
I have no right to think the way I think. I have been freed. Why can I not let these things go?

I really could write about this forever, and wanted to... but I'm so tired, and need to get up in the morning.

Besides, nobody reads this... yet.


Samantha Lengert said...
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katiewhitecoat said...

dang!! 2 points for germany.